


smiles and dornish lullabies

by sansakatara



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Character Study, Motherhood, Period-Typical Sexism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansakatara/pseuds/sansakatara
Summary: For as long as she could remember, Elia's health had been a delicate thing.
Relationships: Elia Martell & Oberyn Martell, Elia Martell & Rhaenys Targaryen (Daughter of Elia), Elia Martell/Rhaegar Targaryen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	smiles and dornish lullabies

I.

280 A.C

For as long as she could remember, Elia's health had been a delicate thing.

It meant that sometimes people pretended her issues did not exist, taking pains to avoid conversations where it might come up. They were well-intentioned, but her health was just a fact; she could not deny it any more than her being Dornish. But the approach of her devoted Septa Cassella and tireless Maester Ulrick is hardly better. Sometimes, Elia privately suspects that their over-protectiveness is because they fear tempting the gods sending her into an early grave.

Only Oberyn was different. Oberyn was not blind to her condition, but he also believed in her in a way few younger brothers did their elder sisters. Thus, he had a gift in making Elia sometimes feel that all the tomorrows were promised them. And if there is anyone who has influenced Oberyn in this, it is their mother. _They told me that the Mother would call you home, just as she did your sweet brothers,_ Princess Loreza had told her once; referring to Elia's premature birth. _When they looked at you, they no doubt saw another babe to bury. But when I looked at you, I saw a fighter. I knew you would live, and you did._

But perhaps her mother and brother were wrong. Maybe it will be the thing that dooms her in the end. Perhaps her entire life was pre-destined to reach this moment in time. She will die here in this strange castle, far from home, trying desperately to bring forth Rhaegar's heir in blood and terror and agony. Because her health has always been a delicate thing, and therefore it must mean she is not strong enough to survive this- the pain will rip her apart. She will die here, and Elia cannot bring herself to care, she just wants this ordeal to be over, _please_...

"I can see the head! Keep pushing, Princess!" One of the Maesters, carefully hand-selected for such an important birth, encourages her. Elia wants to snap at him, because can't he see how hard she is trying already? But instead, she grits her teeth and grips the furs as tightly as a captain gripping a piece of driftwood in an unforgiving sea and then suddenly -

Her babe is being lifted in the air, screaming and tiny fists swinging. A Maester - Elia is too dazed to think who, cuts the cord. The thing still connecting them together is gone now, and Elia's child is a completely physical and seperate being from her. They have come into the world now, they are real - more tangible than the confirmation of her pregnancy, the kicks, all the discomfort she'd endured. They are finally here, and Elia is truly a mother now.

"Congratulations, Princess Elia. You have a healthy daughter."

 _A girl._ For one tiny moment, Elia tastes disappointment. A healthy daughter is not a prince. This is not Dorne, a girl will never be allowed to sit the Iron Throne even if she has more qualities of rulership in her little finger than in the entire bodies of a dozen male claimants. The Great Council of 101 AC promised that. Men - her daughter's own ancestors decided that. They must try again, or the crown would have to pass to any firstborn son that Rhaegar's little brother may sire, and Elia will feel like a failure. 

But all Elia's fears melt away when one of her ladies tenderly places her child into her arms. Almost immediately, her daughter stops crying and opens her eyes. It is not a stranger's gaze in those brown pearls, Elia realizes with a jolt - it is a look of recognition. _You know me. You know I'm your mother._ And suddenly, she can feel her eyes burning and Elia hates herself for her fears. She doesn't care now, she doesn't care that she has given birth to a girl and they will need to try again. She doesn't care, because she sees those eyes, and she is lost. 

"Hello," she whispers, and then the darkness takes her.

II.

Elia does not know whenever minutes or hours have passed when she comes around again. At first, it feels as though Elia has been dreaming and then the realization is as abrupt as being splashed by cold water in the Water Gardens.

"Where is she?" Elia cries, panic clawing at her throat. 

She is assured her daughter is safe and with a wet-nurse, and that the prince her husband had "beamed" when he saw her. The thought of a man who has never been free with his smiles beaming at the sight of a daughter instead of a son is strange to Elia, but for now she allows herself to feel relief. Rhaegar, unlike most men, is not dismayed that his wife has given him a daughter. And if- if he did, well Elia will love her so fiercely, completely, and devotedly that it will be as if her daughter is bathed in sunlight, and thus safe from becoming a shadow thanks to the glory of any sired sons. 

She is told other things as well, in that room. The birth was hard for her- well, all births were hard. It was called the _women’s battle_ for a reason. Once, she had asked her Septa why the Mother would make childbirth so painful. It seemed a cruel thing to do, especially when one was expected to bring children into the world. Septa Casella had told Elia that the Mother was not trying to punish women – that the pain was simply a symbol of the lengths that a mother will go to for their son or daughter. _It is never easy being a mother,_ this woman who would never have a child of her own had told her, brushing back a lock of Elia’s dark hair. _Why would giving birth be any easier?_

But a Septa’s words aside, Elia is told that she is to be kept to this bed for the time being. The birth greatly weakened her, and they must build up her strength again. Elia is promised that she will have nothing but the greatest care from them, Prince Rhaegar had commanded it- but all Elia wants is to have her daughter in her arms. 

III.

Two moons have passed since Rhaenys' birth. Time seemed to pass in a fashion that is both frustratedly slow and rapidly quick. The more time that passes, the more disheartened Elia grows. 

It was the way of things for women of Elia's station to have help. But this- this was different. Elia had to rely on her daughter being taken to her. All her life Elia’s health had meant she had needed to rely on others for help and she had never felt ashamed for it, but now she did. Maybe it would not have been as bad if she had milk to give her- but her supply was so low it meant that when Rhaenys cried for a feeding, it was the wet-nurse Alys that Rhaenys needed, and not her own mother. 

All this meant that Elia eventually commanded that Rhaenys' cradle be brought into her bedchamber. 

"Are you certain, Princess? But what if she disturbs you- you must rest…"

"I’ve never been more certain of anything,” Elia replied. “I have been doing nothing but resting in this bed for two moons. Allowing my daughter to sleep in the same room as me at night will not change that, and her nurse can have the empty room next to me or even sleep in here herself if that eases your minds, but Rhaenys and I will sleep in the same room from now on. I do not ask you, but command you as your future queen."

So Rhaenys was moved into her room, along with Alys. Elia fights back the wave of jealousy she feels seeing Alys set up a cot and wonders briefly if this is a good idea. But she puts those feelings aside- it is not Alys’ fault, and if this is what Elia must do to be close to Rhaenys, she will do it gladly.

It is only a few days later when it happens. Elia is holding Rhaenys, who Elia know she will have to soon surrender to Alys for her bedtime feed, but not just yet she thinks, while she sings a Dornish lullaby. And then- Rhaenys looks at her, and smiles.

  
“Oh, how darling!” Alys croons.

This smile is different. Maester Ulrick had told her that newborns have the ability to smile from birth, but this was a different sort of smile. Elia knew this because Rhaenys’ eyes were smiling too. And she wants to weep, because despite everything – despite her fears, it was she who claimed her daughter’s first smile, just as Rhaenys had claimed her heart, the very moment she saw those eyes.


End file.
